Today is my birthday, and Mario Fraioli’s newsletter The Morning Shakeout had his list of 43 lessons for his 43rd birthday, a tradition he cribbed from none other than Kevin Kelly who posted 68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice for his birthday a few years ago. I remember that post and I got to meet Kevin at his studio in Pacifica last month. I decided to have a crack at my own list.

1. You get good at the stuff you do all the time.
2. Feeling bad? You’re probably not drinking enough water.
3. You can’t coach enthusiasm.
4. The default state of any deal is ‘dead’. Your job is to keep it alive.
5. Make eye contact with people when they’re presenting, and nod along if you agree with them. It’s a helpful way to encourage people to be at their best.
6. “Yes, and” is infinitely better than “no, but”
7. If you “don’t disagree” than you “agree.” Say that if it’s what you mean. If it isn’t, then say something else. Be precise.
8. Praise in public, criticize in private.
9. But, don’t make a habit of giving unsolicited criticism, especially to a third party. Your cards are yours to see and you don’t need to play them all every hand.
10. Everyone gets their own deal, so don’t compare your deal to others.
11. If you’re talking to someone and they recommend a book, even in passing, buy the book and read it. If it was good enough to mention maybe it has something to say.
12. You do not have to finish every book you start.
13. Alcohol is bad for you, and drinking is not something to romanticize.
14. You can party without getting drunk.
15. Service workers (waiters, bussers, janitors, the person who makes your coffee) have harder jobs than you. Respect their time, be nice, and always tip. The karma will make it back to you.
16. Make backups. If you care about keeping something, store three copies in separate locations. “Two is one and one is none.”
17. Oil changes are every six months or every 5,000 miles, whichever comes sooner. Don’t believe the sticker, keep your own records.
18. Keep a pair of work gloves in the glove compartment and an umbrella in the door, you may need them in a pinch someday and will glad to have them.
19. Earplugs make loud concerts better.
20. Good design is worth extra.
21. Made in the USA is worth extra.
22. Buy the cheapest version of any tool you buy for the first time. Splurge only when you know you’ll use it.
23. Attempt to put all consumables to their maximum number of uses.
24. Bicycles are simple to fix but only if you the right tools.
25. Humans are antifragile; we benefit from moderate amounts of disorder and deviations from routine.
26. Tip your barber 100% and you will always be able to move your next appointment no questions asked.
27. If you go to the Alameda flea market, start by walking all the way to the back row without stopping, then work your way back to the entrance. When you buy something heavy you’ll know exactly how far you’ll be walking with it.
28. Tit-for-tat is the only winning strategy in multi-round prisoners’ dilemma. It punishes deviations from social norms and reinforces them.
29. Avoid zero-sum games.
30. Gamble on what you can afford lose without worrying about it.
31. Investing can be painful, keep enough cash to be solvent even if the markets completely tank.
32. Happiness is inversely proportional to how often you check your portfolio.
33. Motorcycles are fun at the expense of danger.
34. Stretching is the best way to check-in with your body.
35. Say ‘Thank you‘ and mean it.
36. Construction projects are always late and over budget, so plan accordingly.
37. Expectations are a powerful lens through which we interpret reality. The good news is that you get to choose them for yourself.
38. Most running should be in heartrate zone-2 (around 150bpm) punctuated by a handful of 20-second bursts of speed. Learn how to do this and you’ll get faster and run further.
39. You never have to stop learning.